A comprehensive guide to child custody schedules by age

As the parent of a minor child, addressing the question of child custody can be one of the most difficult parts of going through a divorce. There are many possible custody arrangements, and choosing the option that works for you and your kids may seem overwhelming at first. 

Let’s take a look at a few of the most typical child custody schedules by age as well as some of the factors to consider, so you can make a more informed decision.

What are some typical custody arrangements?

There’s no one-size-fits-all solution for child custody—what works best depends on the nature of your child, your relationship with your ex-spouse and everyone’s daily routine, along with several other factors. By the end of your negotiations, the most important thing is to reach an agreement that will serve your child’s best interests. 

At a quick glance, typical child custody arrangements include: 

• 50/50 custody: Each parent gets exactly half of the parenting time, usually with the child alternating between parents at consistent intervals. There are several common co-parenting schedules that can reflect this, including exchanging every two days, every week or every two weeks. Another common 50/50 schedule is 2-2-5-5. In this arrangement, parents each spend two days with their child, then five days, before repeating. This schedule allows parents to both have alternating free weekends and to go no more than five days without seeing their child. Learn more about how 50/50 custody schedules work.

• 60/40 custody: Pick-up and drop-off times play a much bigger role in making this arrangement work, since 60/40 doesn’t fit so neatly into the weekly calendar. For example, 60% weekday and 40% extended weekend custody might look like one parent receiving the child at 9:00 a.m. on Friday and the other receiving them at 3:00 p.m. on Monday. You could also use holidays, school breaks and other special occasions to make sure each parent gets their allocated time. 

• 70/30 custody: This schedule more or less corresponds to one parent having the child during the week, while the second parent has them for weekends. The weekend parent may also get the child for an extra holiday or two to make sure custody follows a true 70/30 percentage. 

• 80/20 custody: One straightforward way of fulfilling an 80/20 split is by giving the extended weekends of a 60/40 schedule to the parent with the lower custody percentage every other weekend, or the first, third and fifth weekends of the month. 

Though many factors go into determining your parenting plans, your child’s stage of life is one of the most influential. In the next sections, we’ve highlighted relevant insights and provided a few examples of child custody schedules by age group.

Custody schedules for infants

It’s common for new babies to live primarily with one parent and have daytime visits with the other, so as not to disrupt their sleep or feeding schedules, especially if the infant is breastfeeding. It’s also recommended to keep daytime visits at the same time of day.

As your infant grows older and becomes more adaptable to the change, you can begin to introduce occasional overnights when you feel they’re ready and if a judge ultimately approves this. If possible, it’s also a smart idea to have a way for both parents to communicate about their infant’s development.

Options for infants:

• 2-2-3 schedule: The child spends two days with parent A, two days with parent B, then three days with parent A. (This typically isn’t feasible for breastfeeding children.)

• Alternating every 2 days schedule: The child alternates spending two days with each parent. (This typically isn’t feasible for breastfeeding children.)

• 5-2 schedule: The child spends five days with one parent and two days with the other. If possible, the five days should be complemented with frequent daytime visits with the second parent.

• Every 3rd-day schedule: The child spends every third day with the parent they don’t live with full time.

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Custody schedules for toddlers

The primary concern with toddlers is to make sure that they feel safe, secure and cared for as their emotional experiences become ever more complex. At this age, children become more perceptive of and sensitive to tension and conflict, so it’s recommended to make arrangements in a way that limits fighting in front of your toddler. 

Perhaps most importantly, toddlers have a tendency for strong attachments to caregivers and loved ones, so the custody schedule should design exchanges and visiting times to reduce the potential for separation anxiety. Additionally, schedule changes shouldn’t be so drastic that the child loses the benefit of a consistent routine, which is also important at this age as they develop new skills and explore their worlds.

Around 18 months to 2 years old, you can introduce phone and video calls with the absent parent, and keep pictures of both parents in the child’s personal space to support their sense of connection. 

While they’re more emotionally sensitive than infants, toddlers are also more adaptable and can usually better handle overnight visits.

 Options for toddlers:

• 2-2-3 schedule: The child spends two days with parent A, two days with parent B, then three days with parent A.

• Alternating every 2 days schedule: The child alternates spending two days with each parent.

• 5-2 schedule: The child spends five days with one parent and two days with the other. The five days should be complemented with frequent daytime visits with the second parent.

• Every 3rd day schedule: The child spends every third day with the parent they do not live with full time .

• 4-3 or 3-4-4-3 schedule: The child spends four days with one parent, followed by three days with the other. 

• Every weekend (or extended weekend) schedule: The child spends weekdays with one parent and weekends (or extended weekends, for example, from early-mid Friday to early-mid Monday) with the other parent.

Custody schedules for kids

Between the ages of 5 and 12, a child becomes much more adaptive, independent and involved in the world around them. They have more of a social life and are engaged in many school and community activities. From here on out, your co-parenting plan may need to be more flexible to accommodate three (or more) busy schedules and get your child where they need to be each day of the week. 

Children at this age are much more tolerant of longer separations from either parent and have their own sense of time and routine. They’re able to handle an inconsistent schedule that involves even daily exchanges and, depending on their age and maturity, may start sharing their schedule preferences with you. 

Your child should be encouraged to engage in many different activities and explore the world and community around them. So it’s important that your custody schedule allows plenty of time for these activities to be possible. 

If you and your former spouse live far from each other, you may want to encourage your child to stay connected with their other parent through frequent audio or video calls.

Options for school-aged children:

• Alternating weekends schedule: The child stays with one parent during the weekdays and with the other parent every other weekend, complemented with a weekly evening visit in the middle of the week for the weekend parent.

• Alternating weeks schedule: The child stays with one parent for one full week, then with the second parent the next full week (if the parents live in the same or adjacent school districts).

• Every weekend (or extended weekend) schedule: The child spends the weekdays with one parent and the weekends (or extended weekends, for example, from early-mid Friday to early-mid Monday) with the other parent.

• 2-2-3 schedule: The child spends two days with parent A, two days with parent B, then three days with parent A.

• Every 3rd week schedule: The child spends two weeks with one parent and one week with the other (if the parents live in the same or adjacent school districts).

Custody schedules for teens

From around age 13, a child starts transforming into more of a young adult. Although family and the home remain foundational as a base of support, and parents should nurture and provide oversight where they can, your teenager will spend a lot more time out of the home. 

At this age, social relationships with friends and peers become much more important, schedules become busier and teens likely have clear preferences about their custody arrangements. Your co-parenting plan should make time for both parents to be involved in your teenager’s life but also accommodate the complexities of your teen’s schedule and their wishes, when possible and appropriate. 

Be aware that their schedule is likely to conflict with parenting time. Try to be flexible with your plans and stay involved by attending their activities when you can. 

Your teenager is likely more independent at this stage, but this doesn’t mean good communication with your co-parent is less necessary than before. It’s important that you and your co-parent are aligned about setting boundaries with your child and how to respond consistently if those boundaries are crossed. 

It’s also still important not to burden your child with tension or conflict from the divorce, even if they’re better able to understand the challenges of a co-parenting situation. 

You, your co-parent and/or the judge will decide on the schedule that works best in your case.

Options for teenagers

• Alternating weeks schedule: The child stays with one parent for one full week, then with the second parent the next full week.

• Alternating weekends schedule: The child stays with one parent during the weekdays and with the other parent every other weekend, complemented with a weekly evening visit in the middle of the week for the weekend parent.

• Every weekend (or extended weekend) schedule: The child spends the weekdays with one parent and the weekends (or extended weekends, for example, from early-mid Friday to early-mid Monday) with the other parent.

• 5-2 schedule: The child spends five days with one parent and two days with the other.

• 2 weeks each schedule: The child spends two weeks with one parent, and then two weeks with the other (if the parents live in the same or adjacent school districts).

• Every 3rd-week schedule: The child spends two weeks with one parent and one week with the other (if the parents live in the same or adjacent school districts).

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How should you agree on a custody arrangement?

Negotiating your child custody schedule can be a challenging part of divorce, but the ease and smoothness of that process is largely in your hands. 

A good way to ensure your custody arrangements are decided with everyone’s best interests in mind is to create your plans in relation to all the factors of your child’s current life. While each case has different factors, here are several of the most important ones to consider: 

Factors to consider:

• Your child’s age and temperament: Different ages have different scheduling needs that should be addressed accordingly. Babies, toddlers and small children need much more face time with each parent, while a schedule for teenagers should accommodate their social activities. 

• Your child’s special needs: Make it possible for your child to continue receiving support for any special needs they might have, including medical, developmental, educational, emotional or social needs.

• Your child’s ability to adapt to change: Some children may be more easygoing, while others may struggle to handle the big changes happening in their lives. If your child has a hard time with change, consider creating a schedule with fewer exchanges and longer times with each parent, or a schedule that gives them frequent interaction with both to establish a sense of security. 

• Your child’s daily schedule: The custody arrangement shouldn’t interfere with the child’s day-to-day life and should consider their daily habits—such as their typical bedtime or energy levels at different times of day—in addition to their schedule. 

• Your child’s school and community environment: The arrangement you make shouldn’t limit your child’s ability to stay organized about and complete homework or school projects, as well as to engage in any extracurricular activities they did pre-divorce. This may particularly impact mid-week interactions. 

• Your child’s sibling or other family relationships: Sometimes, parents may decide on a split custody arrangement, where each parent has primary custody over different children. If your child no longer lives with siblings or other relatives, make sure they still have an opportunity to spend time with them, and encourage good relationships with the rest of the family. If you have multiple children, consider blocking specific alone times for each parent with each child. 

• Travel time for exchanges: The distance between the two parents’ homes, as well as to and from school, daycare and other important places in your child’s life, plays a role in which arrangements are realistic. Parents who live a long distance apart need to communicate well and be more flexible when agreeing on an appropriate schedule.

• The relationship between you and the other parent: Schedules with more frequent exchanges or inconsistent weekly timings require more communication and coordination. These are more suited to parents who have a reasonably good relationship and can interact without conflict. It’s often beneficial for parents with a high amount of tension to follow a more consistent schedule that requires less frequent communication, such as an alternating weekly or biweekly plan, and limited in-person interaction at exchanges. If you have a difficult relationship with your ex, learn more about why keeping a child away from the other parent can backfire.

• Your child’s preferences: As your child grows and becomes more aware and mature, they’ll likely have opinions about their custody arrangements. It’s a good idea to speak to your child to understand their preferences. 

• Any danger or history of abuse: At the end of the day, your child’s physical and emotional safety is the highest priority. Any history of physical, emotional or sexual abuse from either parent must inevitably influence your final parenting plans. In some cases, supervised visitation or further court involvement may be needed.

Where your child lives is only one part of the child custody puzzle. Custody can be one of the hardest decisions for a divorcing couple to make, and it can become a very emotional and drawn-out process. Working with a family and divorce lawyer during this time can be a real asset.

How a lawyer can help

• Keep you informed about parental rights
• Calculate child support payments in your area
• Develop a legal strategy
• Coordinate your case with outside professionals
• Present evidence in court
• Organize evidence about child living conditions and family relationships
• Manage cases involving domestic violence and supervised visitation
• Pursue child custody modification
• Acquire custody or visitation rights for grandparents

The right lawyer will answer all your questions and support you every step of the way so you don’t need to go through this alone.