When you’re a father seeking custody of your child, the phrase that matters the most in almost any state is “the best interests of the child.” In general, the best interest standard puts the child’s physical, emotional and developmental needs at the center of the custody process. And when you understand how the best interest standard applies in your state, you’re a big step closer to knowing how to get full custody of a child as a father.
Below, we provide a general overview of what you might encounter in a child custody case. Keep in mind that standards and rules may change from state to state, but many of the principles are the same in father-child custody matters.
Key Takeaways:
- If you are a father who was not married to your child’s other parent when the child was conceived or born, you may have to legally prove that you are your child’s father before you can seek custody rights.
- Courts do not make custody decisions based on the sex of either parent involved in the custody case.
- When seeking full custody of your child, you will likely have to prove that full custody is in the best interest of your child.
General principles
Courts do not make decisions about custody based on the sex of the parents involved but rather on each parent’s ability to care for the child. This means that mothers and fathers often have equal custody rights. The legal custody responsibilities and rights of a parent may include rights and obligations to:
- Discipline and guide the child
- Manage the child’s day-to-day care
- Obtain healthcare for the child
- Manage the child’s estate
- Make decisions about the child’s education and other significant life matters
If your child’s other parent does not respect your rights as a parent, you might need to get the law involved to protect yourself and your child.
While parents have equal standing in custody matters, a father might have to take extra steps to establish their parental rights. A crucial step for many seeking child custody for fathers is to establish the paternity of their children.
Establishing paternity in a custody case
If you’re a father who was never married to your child’s other parent, you might have to legally prove you’re your child’s father before you may ask the court for a custody order. This legal process is called establishing paternity or parentage.
The process to establish parentage depends on your state’s laws, but proving you’re the father may be done in multiple ways, including:
- Having the parent who gave birth to your child sign a form that acknowledges you as the father
- Submitting to genetic testing
You may file a petition in court to establish the paternity of your child and have your child’s other parent served with the petition and a summons.
In court, you may present an acknowledgment from the other parent or the results of a DNA test as proof of your status as the father. Once you prove that you’re the father, you have equal rights and obligations to spend time with your child and support them. But if you want full custody, you will likely have to prove to the court that granting you full custody of your child is in their best interest.
Pro tip:
If you were never married to your child’s other parent, research your state’s paternity laws before starting your custody case. You may have to take extra steps to prove your rights as a father before you can make custody requests in court.
How to legally get custody of a child as a father
The first step to obtaining custody of a child is to file a custody petition with the court in the county where the child lives. If you’re seeking custody as part of a divorce, the court will address custody when it adjudicates your divorce petition.
After filing your petition, you may have to personally serve the other parent with your petition and a court summons. Personal service tends to involve having someone who is at least 18 and not a party in your case personally deliver your complaint and a summons to the other parent. Many people enlist the help of a sheriff or professional process server to complete service in their case. Whoever completes service typically must file an affidavit with the court regarding their service.
Some fathers may obtain full custody of their children without court intervention. You may avoid much of the court process by entering into a custody agreement with the child’s other parent. You submit the agreement to the court for review. Depending on your state, you may need to attend a hearing. If the court confirms that your agreement is in the children’s best interests, it will enter it as an order of the court. If the other parent violates the order, the court may enforce it through sanctions such as financial penalties or even jail time.
If you and the other parent cannot agree to a custody arrangement, the court will hold a hearing and issue a custody order based on its assessment of what is in the child’s best interests.
Pro tip:
Sometimes, good outcomes in family court come from the conversations you have outside court. You might want to talk to your child’s other parent to see if they would agree to your preferred custody arrangement. If the other parent agrees with your position, you may not have to attend a trial to receive a favorable custody order.
Proving full custody is in your child’s best interest
Many state courts favor parents having joint custody of their children, but a court may order sole child custody for a father if it’s in the best interest of the child. The “best interests of the child” principle means that the court’s main goal is to make decisions that provide the best possible outcomes for the child. This encompasses more than just material needs—such as housing, food and education. The best interest standard also considers emotional stability, mental health and the overall ability of each parent to foster a positive environment for the child.
Factors the court considers in determining the best interest of the child
While each state may have slightly different guidelines, courts typically look at similar factors when determining what is in a child’s best interest. The factors might include:
- The child’s wishes (depending on the age and maturity of the child)
- The health of the child and each parent
- The child’s relationship with each parent
- Each parent’s wishes
- Each parent’s ability to cooperate with the other
- The stability of each parent’s household and behavior
- Any history of domestic violence, neglect or abuse committed in either parent’s household
- The child’s adjustment to their home, school and community
- How close each parent lives to the other
- The child’s relationship with any of their siblings
- The child’s relationship with other significant people in their life
- The child’s physical, emotional and developmental needs
- Any history of substance abuse by a parent
When seeking full custody, you might have to prove that you have a stronger relationship with your child and are better equipped to meet their needs than the other parent. You might also have to prove that granting custody to the other parent would threaten the child’s safety or development. Asserting your custody rights may involve presenting a large amount of evidence to the court regarding your abilities and your child’s needs.
Typically, the court will order the family to participate in a custody evaluation to help it make a best interest determination. The evaluator will review each parent’s circumstances and make a recommendation to the court.
Pro tip:
At the outset of your custody case, take detailed notes about your child’s needs and routines and how you help with all of them. This may help you stay organized and identify evidence to present once your custody case is open.
Evidence to prove that full custody for the father is in the child’s best interests
To prove that full child custody for a father is in the child’s best interest, a father might have to provide the following evidence:
- Proof of paternity
- Healthcare records for the child
- Healthcare records for the parents
- Police reports
- Wage and employment history for both parents
- Witness testimony
- Property records
- School records for the child
- Records from child development or education professionals
- Child welfare reports
- Testimony from the child (if they’re old enough and mature enough to take the stand)
- Pictures
- Recordings
- Emails, text messages and other correspondence between family members and others involved in the child’s life
You may have easy access to several of the types of evidence we listed above. However, gathering some evidence (such as sensitive records of another person or the testimony of an unwilling witness) might require you to submit legal interrogatories to other parties or serve other parties with subpoenas.
How an attorney may help
We know that ensuring the court makes the right decision about the custody of your child is one of your greatest priorities. And receiving a court order that grants you full custody of your child may be a detailed process with many legal requirements. Fortunately, you don’t have to sift through this legal process on your own.
An attorney may guide you through how to get full custody of a child as a father in many ways. An attorney’s help might include gathering evidence to prove what’s in your child’s best interests and filing the necessary paperwork to open your custody case. If you want to settle your custody matter outside of court but you have a strained relationship with the child’s other parent, an attorney may handle the negotiation of your custody agreement.
