When your child splits their time between two households, it can be frustrating not knowing what they’re doing when they aren’t with you. In some cases, you may simply be curious. In others, you may be concerned about their safety.
Unfortunately, you don’t always have a right to know where your child is during visitation with your co-parent. Depending on your state law, you might have an automatic right to seek this information in a handful of instances. But if you desire more access, you need to request it from the court.
In this article, we’ll explain what information about your child you have a right to know, as well as what you can do if you believe you need more details. Then we’ll share examples of how you might modify a court order so you can have access to the facts you desire.
Basic rights to information about your child
Most state courts seek to foster a close relationship between a child and each parent after a divorce. At the same time, the courts strive to respect each parent’s rights. One way multiple state courts achieve both goals is by granting custodial and noncustodial parents the right to request certain information about their children. This information can include:
- School records
- Medical records
- Dental records
Sometimes this information can help a parent figure out a child’s whereabouts by letting them know things like:
- If a child made it to an appointment
- What afterschool programs they take part in
- Whether they made it to school and all their classes
- Whether they took the bus home from school
- Who supervised their recovery after a health procedure
Typically parents can ask for the above information from healthcare providers and school officials if they present copies of the child’s birth certificate and a custody or visitation order.
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Get startedWhat do I do if I need more information?
You need to respect the terms of your parenting agreement, custody order and child visitation schedule. If you fail to honor these rules, you could be held in contempt of court.
So when you feel you need more information in non-emergency situations, check your family law court orders. They may include provisions about when and how often you can contact your child while they are with the other parent. They may also address circumstances where your co-parent is required to notify you about your child’s whereabouts.
If you feel you need other questions answered about where your child is during the day, your best option is to seek special rights in a parenting time or custody order. You may be able to obtain these extra rights when you initially seek custody and visitation orders with the court, or you can file a motion with the court to modify orders already in place.
If you feel you need more information in an emergency situation, contact your child or the other parent. If you don’t receive a response, speaking to your attorney about whether you should file a motion with the court to modify the other parent’s rights can be helpful.
In extreme cases where the parent has left town with the child without proper authorization, it may be time to alert the authorities and request an AMBER alert.
What solutions are available in a court order?
There are many ways to fashion custody and visitation orders so that you can keep track of your child. You may also be able to develop terms of visitation that put you more at ease about the other parent having your child so that you feel less of a need to check in. Examples of such provisions include but aren’t limited to orders that:
- Give you rights to routinely check in with your child (for example, by phone call or text) during the other parent’s visitation
- Require the other parent to notify you if they plan to be away from home with the child for a specified period of time
- Require the other parent to provide you with notice and a basic itinerary when they travel with your child
- Limit the child visitation pick-up/drop-off responsibility to a small number of trusted individuals
- Require the other parent to notify you if they intend to leave the children with a third party during their parent time or give you the first option to provide care
If you have specific reasons to be concerned about your child’s safety—such as the other parent’s history of reckless behavior, mental illness or drug use—you may request that the other parent’s visitation be supervised. The court may put in place detailed guidelines regarding where visitation takes place, who must be present and what activities are acceptable.
How do I modify my court orders?
When you file a motion to modify custody or parenting time orders, you’ll likely need the other parent to agree with your proposed changes. If the other parent doesn’t agree, many states require you to prove two things:
- That there’s been a substantial change in circumstances since the original order
- That the change you want is in the best interests of your child
When your desired change is a substantial modification to the other parent’s visitation or custody rights, state law might restrict how often you’re allowed to request a change to once every two years. For example, if you seek to change a joint physical custody arrangement to a sole physical custody arrangement less than two years after the last modification or initial order, you might have to prove that your child is in imminent emotional or physical danger that warrants the change.
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Get startedWhat does a court consider when modifying a parenting time or custody order?
When a family court decides to include a provision in a custody or parenting time order, it often makes its decision based on what’s in the best interests of the child. There are several factors they consider, including:
- Each parent’s ability to encourage contact and an affectionate, loving relationship between the child and the other parent
- Each parent’s wishes
- The physical health of each parent and anyone else involved
- The ways in which the child has adjusted to their community, school and home
- The mental health of each parent and anyone else involved
- The way the child interacts with each parent and any other important individuals in the child’s life (siblings, aunts, grandparents, uncles, close friends, etc.)
- The child’s wishes
- Whether anyone involved has a history of committing abuse or neglect
- Whether past parental involvement indicates a system of mutual support, time commitment and values
- The physical distance between the parents
- Each parent’s capacity to put the child’s needs ahead of their own needs
When to speak with a lawyer
Handling family matters can be stressful, especially when those matters involve your child. While it’s not mandatory, hiring a skilled family law attorney can help reduce this stress and ensure the court makes the best decisions for your child. A knowledgeable lawyer can help you resolve disputes with your co-parent with minimal conflict and court intervention. They can also help ensure that your rights as a parent are respected.
Sofie is a writer. She lives in Brooklyn.