Parental alienation may have lasting impacts on both the parents and children involved. The effects may be especially damaging for mothers who find themselves unjustly estranged from their child due to the wrongful and intentional actions of their child’s other parent. 

If you’re a mother experiencing alienation, don’t give up. There are things you can do to address the situation. In this article, we’ll explore the effects of parental alienation on targeted parents, strategies to consider using to win back your child and how to fight parental alienation as a mother in court.

What is parental alienation syndrome? 

Parental alienation syndrome occurs when one parent intentionally manipulates and undermines their child’s relationship with the other parent. Examples of parental alienation strategies often include actions such as: 

• Denigrating the other parent in the child’s presence
• Limiting the child’s contact or communication with the other parent
• Making false accusations of abuse, neglect or other misconduct about the other parent
• Interfering with the other parent’s visitation time
• Encouraging the child to speak negatively about or to their other parent

Notably, these are just a few examples of tactics that alienating parents may use to undermine the relationship between the other parent and their child. Parental alienation may take many forms and may vary in subtlety and severity.

Effects of parental alienation on targeted parents

Parental alienation may have profound and lasting effects on the children involved. It may also have significant impacts on the targeted parents, including: 

• Reduced contact with their child
• Emotional distress
• Stress and anxiety
• Low self-esteem
• Social isolation
• Resulting physical health problems

More than anything, parental alienation may affect a parent’s relationship with their child, which has the potential to negatively impact virtually all other aspects of a parent’s life. 

If you’re facing parental alienation and aren’t sure where to turn, don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family or counseling professionals to get the help you need before deciding how best to move forward. 

How to fight parental alienation: Strategies to combat the wrongful actions of your co-parent 

In addition to working to repair your relationship with your child, you may wish to consider taking legal action to fight parental alienation. Three common strategies are a custody modification, a temporary restraining order and a contempt of court action.

Custody modification

Depending on the circumstances and the severity of the alienation, you may be able to petition the court to request a modification of an existing custody order in a way that will prevent the alienating behavior in the future. For example, a modification request may seek to limit the alienating parent’s visitation time with the child, require their visitation to be supervised or prohibit them from making disparaging statements about you in the child’s presence. 

Keep in mind, courts typically only grant a custody modification if it would be in the best interest of the child. So having evidence—such as documentation of the alienating parent’s behavior, witness testimony and records of any therapy sessions—may be helpful to support your petition for modification. 

Temporary restraining order

In severe cases where parental alienation poses an immediate threat to the child’s well-being or safety, you may be able to pursue a temporary restraining order (TRO) against the alienating parent. A TRO may allow you to obtain an immediate order prohibiting the alienating parent from contacting the child temporarily until the court can consider any evidence in more detail and decide how to address the matter more permanently. 

Contempt of court

If an alienating parent’s actions constitute a violation of an existing custody order, you may also be able to pursue a contempt of court action against them to hold them accountable for their inappropriate actions. If the court holds the parent in contempt, they may face fines, legal sanctions or even jail time. 

How to win back an alienated child 

When one parent uses alienating tactics, it may tarnish the child’s relationship with their other parent. While this may feel isolating at times, remember that there’s always a chance that your child will return to you. 

Below are some key strategies parents frequently consider when working to rebuild their relationship with an alienated child. 

Speak with your child directly 

Direct communication with an alienated child is often one of the first steps toward reconciliation. 

It may seem tempting at times to avoid conversations with your child in an effort to protect yourself from further hurt as a result of their other parent’s alienating tactics. Nevertheless, having open and honest conversations with your child may help you understand their feelings and get a better sense of where their negative impressions of you are stemming from.

Likewise, open and honest communication with your child may allow them to understand your perspective. This, in turn, may help to dispel any false or inaccurate perceptions they may have about you based on what they may be hearing from their other parent. 

That said, each child is different. Take into consideration the age, maturity level and traits of your child, and tailor the context of any conversations with them accordingly. Additionally, take care to approach any such conversations with empathy and without placing any blame or guilt on your child. 

Maintain an open and loving environment

Even if your child isn’t willing to communicate with you, a consistently supportive and nurturing environment may help foster trust and rebuild your relationship with an alienated child.

Moreover, avoid engaging in negative talk about the alienating parent in your child’s presence or pressuring the child to choose sides. Instead, spend any time you have with your child in a meaningful way, showing them that they’re valued, respected and cared for. 

Consider therapy

Sometimes, it may be helpful to seek outside help in the form of therapy to navigate the complex feelings and emotions that often result from parental alienation. An experienced therapist familiar with parental alienation cases may be able to provide valuable guidance, tools and strategies for fostering healing and reconciliation. 

Different types of therapy may be most appropriate for different people and circumstances:

• Individual therapy may provide a safe outlet for a child to process their emotions, work through any issues they’ve been experiencing or simply talk to someone about topics they may not feel comfortable speaking about with their parents. 
• Family therapy may be beneficial for facilitating communication between a parent and their child.
• Or you may find that a combination of the two is best for you and your child.

When to give up on an alienated child

Depending on the severity of the parental alienation against a mother, matters may sometimes seem bleak. In these situations, you may wonder whether and when to give up on your attempts at reconciliation with your child. You’re not alone; many parents who deal with these issues have the same thoughts.

Nevertheless, take heart knowing that nothing is impossible, and with time and patience, there is always a chance of reconciliation. Thus, before giving up on your child, consider speaking with a legal professional about your options moving forward. 

How an attorney can help

When you’re facing the effects of parental alienation, you may wish to consider seeking legal representation. 

An experienced family law lawyer may help you understand your legal rights, connect with therapy and counseling service providers, gather evidence to help support your case and represent your interests in court when necessary to fight back against the alienating tactics of your child’s other parent.