Divorce is rarely simple, but when you haven’t seen or heard from your spouse in years, the process can feel even more complicated. Fortunately, the law offers options for moving forward when a traditional divorce isn’t possible. If your spouse has been absent, unreachable, or has seemingly disappeared, you still have legal pathways to end the marriage.
In situations like this, many courts allow for divorce by publication, default judgments, or even divorces based on abandonment. These legal options are designed for cases where one spouse can’t be found, giving the other a way to move on with their life, even when the other party is no longer part of it.
To get started, you’ll need to follow a step-by-step legal process that protects your rights and respects the absent spouse’s right to be notified, however possible. Working with a family law attorney can make a big difference, especially since these cases involve additional paperwork, deadlines, and rules that vary by state.
Key takeaways
- You can divorce someone you haven’t seen in years using legal methods like service by publication, default judgment, or abandonment claims.
- Courts require proof of a diligent search to locate your spouse before allowing alternative service methods.
- Filing for divorce from a missing spouse involves extra documentation, including affidavits, search logs, and proof of publication.
- Even without the other spouse present, courts aim to divide property fairly and may appoint someone to represent the absent party.
Is getting a divorce possible if you haven’t seen your spouse in a long time?
Many people face this situation, whether due to separation over time, lack of contact, or a spouse who intentionally avoids communication. Most states offer procedures that allow the divorce process to continue even when one spouse is missing.
These legal routes include divorce by publication, where you notify your spouse through a public newspaper, and default divorce, which occurs when they fail to respond. Depending on your state’s laws, you might also be able to file based on abandonment. In every case, courts usually require that you show you’ve made a real effort to find your spouse before moving forward.
How do you divorce someone you haven’t seen or contacted in years?
When you can’t reach your spouse, the divorce process shifts to focus on proving that you’ve done your due diligence. That means showing the court you’ve made honest attempts to contact them before asking for permission to proceed without them.
Consult a qualified attorney
Start by speaking with a family law attorney who understands how your state handles absent-spouse divorces. They’ll guide you through the process, make sure you meet legal standards, and help you prepare all necessary documents.
File for a divorce petition
You’ll need to file a formal divorce petition with the court. This document includes your grounds for divorce and explains your spouse’s absence, such as how long it’s been since you’ve had contact and any known last address. This step officially opens your case.
Try to locate your spouse
Before you can request a special form of service, you must try to find your spouse. Courts expect what’s called a diligent search. That might include reaching out to relatives, checking old addresses, searching online, looking through public records, or even hiring a private investigator. Keep careful notes—these efforts must be documented and presented to the court.
Request service by publication
If your search fails, your attorney can help you file a motion to allow service by publication. You’ll submit an affidavit describing all the steps you took to locate your spouse. If approved, you’ll be required to publish a legal notice of the divorce in a newspaper, typically one that serves the area of their last known address.
Present evidence of abandonment
Depending on your state, you may also be able to claim abandonment as a ground for divorce. This means your spouse voluntarily left the marriage without communication or financial support and had no intention of returning. To do this, you’ll need to show how long they’ve been gone and that you’ve had no contact.
How to file for divorce if you can’t locate your spouse
Once you’ve exhausted all efforts to find your spouse, you’ll move forward with court-approved procedures that allow the divorce to continue, without traditional service.
Publish a notice in the newspaper
After getting the court’s permission, you’ll publish a notice of your divorce petition in a local newspaper. The notice usually must run once a week for three to four consecutive weeks and include specific language required by the court. Afterward, the newspaper provides an affidavit of publication to show the notice ran as required.
Document all search efforts
You’ll need to provide a full log of every attempt you made to locate your spouse. Courts take this seriously, so include details like dates, names of people contacted, online searches, and any responses (or lack thereof). The more thorough, the better.
Request an alternative service method
Along with your publication request, you’ll often need to submit a formal motion to the court explaining why alternative service is necessary. Your affidavit should detail why traditional service methods failed, what steps you took to locate your spouse, and why your chosen method will likely provide reasonable notice.
Proceed with a default judgment
You can request a default judgment if your spouse doesn’t respond within the required timeframe (usually 20–30 days after the final publication). This means the court moves forward with your divorce based on your filing alone. You may need to attend a hearing to finalize terms like property division or custody, but you won’t need your spouse’s signature or participation.
What is considered abandonment in a marriage for divorce purposes?
In some states, abandonment (also called “desertion”) is a valid legal reason to file for divorce. But it has a specific legal meaning.
To qualify, your spouse must have left the marriage voluntarily, stayed away for a certain length of time—usually a year or more—and shown no intent to return. There must be no justification, like military deployment, mutual agreement to separate, or absence for medical reasons.
You’ll likely need to show:
- How long your spouse has been gone
- That they stopped providing financial support
- That there has been no meaningful contact or communication
Abandonment claims are often used in cases involving missing spouses, but not all states recognize it as a ground for divorce. A local family law attorney can help you understand whether it applies in your case.
What documentation is needed for divorcing an absent spouse?
To divorce someone you haven’t seen in years. You’ll need to show that you’ve made every reasonable effort to locate your spouse and that your request to end the marriage is legally sound.
Here’s what you may need to gather:
- Marriage certificate: This proves your marriage existed and gives the court the jurisdiction to dissolve it.
- Divorce petition: You’ll file this with the court to start the case. It should include your spouse’s last known address, details about the marriage, and the relief you’re seeking, like property division or custody.
- Affidavit of diligent search: This sworn statement lists all the steps you took to try to find your spouse—online searches, attempts to contact relatives, investigator reports, etc. It proves that alternative service is necessary.
- Proof of publication: After publishing your divorce notice in a newspaper, you’ll need to file an affidavit from the publication along with copies of the printed notices to show the court you met the service requirements.
How are assets divided when divorcing an absent spouse?
Even if your spouse is missing, courts still aim to divide marital property fairly. Depending on your state, this may mean equitable distribution (a fair split, not necessarily 50/50) or community property (an even split).
Because one spouse isn’t there to present their side, courts move carefully. They’ll likely require:
- Complete financial disclosures from you
- Documented efforts to contact your spouse
- Possibly appointing a legal guardian to represent the absent spouse’s interests
Judges make decisions based on the available information, trying to ensure a fair outcome, especially when dividing assets or debts or deciding spousal support.
How long does a divorce from an absent spouse usually take?
Divorcing a missing spouse generally takes longer than a typical divorce. That’s because courts require extra steps, like publication, waiting periods, and thorough documentation before issuing a final judgment.
On average, the process takes between 6 and 18 months, depending on:
- How long it takes to search for your spouse
- Court approval for publication service
- The local court’s calendar and processing time
- Whether your case includes child custody or property issues
Each step adds time, but being thorough ensures your divorce is legal, final, and not open to future challenges.
How a family law attorney can help with your divorce
Trying to end a marriage when you haven’t seen your spouse in years can be frustrating and confusing, but you don’t have to go through it alone.
A family law attorney can guide you through every step, from filing the petition and proving abandonment to obtaining court permission for publication and finalizing the divorce. They’ll make sure you meet all legal requirements and help protect your interests if property, debt, or child-related decisions are involved.Attorneys with Marble, know how to handle complex cases involving absent spouses. We’re here to make the process smoother—and to help you move forward with peace of mind.
