Even if your marriage has been on the rocks, receiving divorce papers may feel like a punch in the gut. It means your spouse filed for divorce, and the process has officially begun. Now it’s time for you to respond to your spouse’s claims and make requests of your own.
At this point, you can hire an attorney to handle the paperwork and proceedings. Or you can move forward by yourself.
This article provides general information on how to respond to divorce papers without an attorney. If things start to feel too complex at any stage of the divorce process, you can hire a lawyer to guide you through the rest of the way or to handle specific parts of the divorce.
(Note: In this article, we call the initial divorce filing a “petition for divorce” or a “divorce petition”. Some states use other names, such as a “complaint for divorce”.)
1. Read everything in the divorce petition
The divorce petition contains important information, which may include what court your spouse filed in, how much time you have to respond, what you’re required to do and what your spouse is asking for. It’s essential that you understand all this information so you don’t accidentally miss a deadline, waive your right to have the court hear your side of the case or violate a court order.
Find a moment with no distractions and carefully read through the divorce petition word by word. Take particular notice of the following.
Where your spouse filed the divorce petition
When it comes to a legal claim, jurisdiction is a court’s authority to hear a case. In general, only courts where you, your spouse or the children from your marriage have lived for several months have jurisdiction to hear your divorce case.
If you or your spouse has moved, traveling between your spouse’s chosen family court and your home could be costly. So pay close attention to where your spouse filed, and research the jurisdiction rules where they filed and in your area. (The court clerk can help with this.) Based on this information, if you believe that your spouse filed in the wrong court or that you can transfer your case to another court, you may be able to file a motion to change venue.
Rules you must follow moving forward
Once divorce proceedings start, both spouses are generally subject to temporary injunctions. These orders from the court require the parties in a case to refrain from certain activities or to start engaging in certain activities. Typical divorce injunctions may include any or all of the following:
- An order not to sell or transfer marital property
- An order not to harass the other spouse
- An order to keep paying insurance premiums for various kinds of coverage that affect the other spouse or children of the marriage
- An order not to take children of the marriage out of state
- An order not to take out loans against marital property
If you don’t comply with these orders, you could face civil fines, criminal liability or less favorable terms in your divorce decree.
Demands your spouse makes
In divorce petitions, spouses may request court orders regarding any or all of the following:
- Spousal support
- Division of assets
- Attorney fees
- Child support
- Division of debts
- Child custody
2. Speak to the clerk of the court
If you don’t want attorney help with divorce filings, a court clerk may be a great and free resource for answering many of your basic questions. They can’t provide legal advice regarding your divorce. What they can share is vital information about what you must do to respond to a divorce petition, such as:
- Your deadline for responding to your spouse’s petition for divorce
- Their court’s jurisdiction rules for filing for divorce
- The acceptable methods for delivering your response to your spouse
- The minimum information and paperwork you must include in your response
- The filing fee you must pay when you submit your response
If you believe that your spouse filed for divorce in the wrong jurisdiction, you might also want to call the court clerk in the area where you think divorce proceedings should occur to ask about their jurisdiction rules and what they need from you to transfer your case there.
3. Gather and review your financial and personal information
Court orders may seriously affect your financial options and some of your personal activities. If you want to reduce the impact that these requests and orders may have, your response can ask the court to lift injunctions. You may also be able to oppose requests your spouse made in their petition.
These appeals and responses may need accompanying evidence, such as:
- Bank statements
- Medical records
- Financial statements
- Property leases
- Wage records
- Employment documents
- Investment information
- School records (for you, your spouse or your children)
- Property titles
- Car leases
- Financial agreements
After you collect this information, review it carefully to see how it could potentially affect your case.
4. Fill out a divorce response form
Once you know how you want to respond to your spouse’s petition for divorce, you need to deliver your response to your spouse and submit a copy to the court
Many courts provide divorce response templates online, or you can visit the court to obtain physical copies of the templates. Carefully read the response form before filling it out and submitting it to make sure you cover all the necessary information.
5. Timely and properly submit your response
If your spouse has a lawyer, you need to deliver your response to that person and anyone else involved in the case. If your spouse doesn’t have a lawyer, you need to deliver your response directly to your spouse and anyone else involved.
In either case, you must file your response on time and via the right methods. The court clerk can tell you how much time you have to respond to the divorce petition and the ways in which you can deliver your response. Often, you may mail or hand-deliver your response. Many divorcing spouses choose to hire a sheriff or professional process server to deliver the documents.
When to speak with an attorney
You don’t have to take on your divorce alone if you don’t want to, and an attorney can help in many ways. They can:
- Identify any deficiencies in your spouse’s divorce petition
- Gather the proper evidence for your case
- Submit all your filings on time
- Speak to your spouse (or their attorney) about contentious issues
Beyond the procedural tasks, having an experienced attorney take the reins and educate you about each step may help put your mind at ease. You have several options and sources of support whether you’re at the beginning, middle or end of a divorce. Think it over and do what’s best for you.
Sofie is a writer. She lives in Brooklyn.
